Rant-Man’s Notebook: Britney Spears Nude!

This phrase turns up a lot on the internet. It seems that no matter what you search for, one of the results will invariably be “Britney Spears Nude!” When I was looking for pictures to doctor for the Sites of the Week, I frequently saw this phrase turn up in the search results. Not a week goes by that I don’t get at least one e-mail announcing “Britney Spears Nude.”

Recently, I saw a banner ad for a comic book store. In big bold letters, it proclaimed
“You won’t see BRITNEY SPEARS NUDE on our site.” I thought that was cheap and deceptive. What ever happened to Truth in Advertising?

I understand the motivation. Britney is very popular, and mentioning her seems to be a good way to gain an audience. If we were to run a page titled “Britney Spears Nude,” we would probably turn up a lot more often in the search results on services like Google and Yahoo. Like everybody else, we can exploit the popularity of this young lady for the sake of our own publicity. Of course, writing a column about “Britney Spears Nude” as a cheap gimmick to drive up our stats is unethical if we don’t really follow through on it. It’s misleading and manipulative. We wouldn’t ever do that. We depend upon the credibility we’ve built up with our readers (both of them; hi mom!). This of course means that we can’t possibly do an article entitled “Britney Spears Nude” without actually delivering on that promise.

Never let it be said that Monkey Spit and Rant-Man are deceivers. If we promise “Britney Spears Nude” then that’s exactly what you are going to get. We deliver on our promises. No bait-and-switch stunts from us, nosiree bob. If “Britney Spears Nude” is the sort of thing you’re looking for, well, you came to the right place.

Here then, without further ado…

Britney Spears Nude!

Get it?

See, it’s Britney and she’s spearing a nude! Britney spears nude! Ha! I slay me!

Made you look, didn’t I?